Work in Water, Stones and Bread

This morning I have been reflecting on Katy’s blog “Identity." Where her struggle has been to know who she is in circumstances where she has been removed from her “identity routine” in west Knoxville - mine is much easier because I have "work" here which defines my apparent identity for our time here in Guatemala.  But as we have continued to talk through Katy’s “identity” questions, we continue to discover that neither of us know our real identity as we should. I have reread this morning the first chapter of Henri Nouwen’s book In the Name of Jesus.  Much of these thoughts are flavored from that reading.

Soy un ingeniero de Auga.  That is, “I am a Water Engineer” and that is how I identify myself down here as I meet new people.  I am working in the Ulpan Valley designing new water systems for people who have none. That sounds like a fabulous identity.  I have had a few people tell me that they think that the work we are doing is really good or that we are their “heroes” for living here this year and doing this work, but as I reflect on that – it feels extraordinarily empty.  Not because I am unappreciative, but because I am very quickly recognizing how insignificant our work here really is. The people of this valley need Christ (I knew this before coming – but being here makes it even more stark).  They need their own men to lead them who are intimately connected to Christ so that they will love, care and lead the people of this valley in good, righteous, and just ways.  They need women, so intimate with Christ that they will love their children, interact with each other and seek education in a way that will nurture each person in the valley into a right relationship with God.  We see examples of this love in people here who do seek Christ, but it is not the norm, no more so than it is in Knoxville.

When Jesus was first tempted in the desert, Satan wanted him to turn stones to bread.  After fasting forty days and nights – it doesn't really seem to me, that given the ability, turning anything to bread when you are really hungry should be bad or sin or really anything other than just getting yourself a meal.  It is obviously more than this – being a temptation and all - and Nouwen says that the real temptation here was to be relevant. Relevant? Is that my motivation for being ingeniero de agua? In some ways I think it is.  I whole-heartedly believe that God led us to this place, but I am also quite sure that part of my motivation is to be relevant. It’s the quagmire of being made new in the midst of living I suppose. We will never be relevant enough to do what we are led to do, but in the midst of walking, obeying and doing we are always being made new.  Katy and I are certainly experiencing newness in this year as some of our relevance is being tossed to the wind.  Uprooting from your normal routines and especially busy life in suburbia (as we are finding) quickly spotlights knots of "relevance" in our own souls.  We find some of these knots being revealed and the beginnings of them being worked while we are here.

Nouwen says that the way from relevance is towards contemplative prayer.  If you are like me – you will be thankful that he defines contemplative prayer – he says, “Contemplative prayer keeps us home, rooted and safe, even when we are on the road, moving from place to place, and often surrounded by sounds of violence and war. Contemplative prayer deepens in us the knowledge that we are already free, that we have already found a place to dwell, that we already belong to God, even though everything and everyone around us keeps suggesting the opposite.” So it is here where we find ourselves, sitting at Jesus' feet, asking to be reminded of his love.  Our prayers are the same for those we encounter here in this valley, that Christ’s love would be preeminent in their hearts.  That we would all know just how irrelevant we are – Christ being first in all.  Praise his Name!  And thus we see the challenges of development work - to be irrelevant cross culturally - while still bringing knowledge and training - knowing that without Christ - all is for naught.

In Process & Processing,

Mark